I Have Rotten Lemons, Want Lemonade? (Trigger Warning)

I regret opening my email after my nap. I have spent the last two hours in a frenetic search to verify facts and details. I have foregone my evening blog read because I was introduced to the existence of Sharron Angle. Before I continue in my writing of this article I want to state explicitly that every link I give on this page will have something triggering on the other side.

The first thing I saw was the subject line, “Angle tells incest survivors “If you have lemons make lemonade.” I clicked the subject already confounded, but I had to know who this person was and what the lemons are. Lemons are fetuses. The Lemonade is teenage pregnancy without abortion even if your father or brother raped you. Let me be upfront, the things I read after this shocked me even further.

It seems that this woman has counseled incest survivors, she was a teacher at one point and is an elected official. This woman is now running to be Nevada’s senator. Her idea of counseling children seems to be convincing them it’s a great idea to risk their lives, when they do not want to, and that it is God’s plan to have them raped.

Sharron Angle is a white woman with red hair, she is wearing a blue shirt and is put before a blue background. She is thin.

Just like I was told. It is clear to me at this point that this, my second actual attempt at writing this, will still contain the personal. This woman wants little girls to forgive their fathers, to love them, and accept them. She has helped one girl get adopted away from her rapist father but of course the rest of us who no one listened to? Well we have to suffer it out. This woman also thinks the ObamaCare plan is a bad idea, that ERs should be able to turn people away if they are uninsured, and with her antiabortion status being so far to the extreme that I suspect some of her conservative counterparts raise a brow I think she just wants the underprivileged to up and die.

Of course if you HAVE medical care, are not disabled, are white, have not been raped by your father, and have not forcibly had an unwanted pregnancy you are going to be fine with these policies. Actually that isn’t true, many people do use their brains and know better. Though with her being elected I am struggling with that idea right now. Angle aka the Queen of Poovlidge USA wants to remove Medicare. She seems to think Social Security is Welfare, and I am surmising this part, I would expect she also thinks all of us with disabilities have families who can take care of us. If not well who cares right? We’re just people who get mentioned so that she can make her antiabortion policy seem less about her need to control everyone else and more about how much she loves people, especially us poor wittle ickle broken folks.

My body is responding to my PTSD right now. I can’t shake it off. I am queasy and I feel my father raping me again and again. I feel his fingers tearing open my vaginal walls. I feel his penis doing the same. I feel pain. The thing is, I feel that pain whenever I have vaginal sex or most stimulation. I feel reduced to a hole for my father and his friends to fuck again. I feel inconsequential. This woman’s idea that you can make lemonade by having an unwanted child at great risk has shaken me and made me feel two again.

I get that the girls in question are no longer two, but, having survived abuse I also know that the odds are against the rape that caused the pregnancy being the only one. In fact, rape is likely far from the only abuse they suffered. This woman has managed to dehumanize people with her words, bringing more than just the rape victim down.

I had to look into her to see who this Senator is. Be sure and read Senator with as much venom in the tone as possible, that is how it is written but there is no way I can show how snarly I feel in the text. Senator Angle. Should sound like the way Lex Luthor says Superman.

In attempting to read what used to be her personal website I find it inaccessible
. This woman that states she loves everyone regardless of ability has summarily cut off people with vision issues from accessing her site. She loves us disabled folk sooo much. My magnifier couldn’t help me much with the site either, the text is tiny on my screen even with the control + function and the magnifier that stretches across the top of my screen enabling my ability to compensate for my poor vision with most sites.

Her new site, made safer for her political aspirations is just as wonky, but readable. Even what is left up says quite a lot about this woman. Still there isn’t enough there so I keep looking, i go to news sites, I go to wikipedia, and I read.

This woman has a spokesperson that seems to constantly contradict what she says, as if by using the old “No I really meant…” will fix it all. She doesn’t want pot, alcohol, or drugs. Which is fine except we already tried prohibition. She thinks God has a plan for everything. She doesn’t believe in the educational system, despite being a teacher.

She also supports Bush, which influences me away from her yet a lot of people do. I feel shaken, as I stare at the words before me. All I can think of is lemons… my lemons are rotten. Is that God’s plan? Does your god converse with my pantheon? What ever happened to the separation of Church and State? I get it, everywhere has their issues yet using God to excuse your bad behavior, your lying in stating you value all life when legally mandating all pregnancies even at the cost of the mother’s life be carried out? Come on Sharron…

Lets talk woman to woman here. You don’t really like poor people. You don’t really think the disabled have any value. In fact you secretly think that these girls must have done something to deserve being raped. Why else would it be God’s plan right? Just between us girls now. You have never had to fight for every meal, you have never had to look at the money you have each month and wish you had enough for a pair of pants at walmart off their clearance rack, you have never been raped. I wasn’t sure I should state this definitively but my instincts and common sense tell me that if you had been raped especially by your father you wouldn’t call it lemons.

I do not sit here crying every day because I was raped, I am still living, but that does not erase the consequences. A baby would not have made my life better, even if it was adopted. Adoption isn’t a magic bullet, and the physical consequences of rape? Well those can be made worse IF the teen lives. Their bodies are still growing and aren’t ready for children. Then again you also think that a marraige is between only a man and a woman and that people only have two genders when there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.

I want to rail. I want to call you names, but I suspect that you will dig your own political hole. I wish that this sort of depravity you display was isolated only to one political party, and though your own republicans will call you an extremist they still vote for you.The Democrats will gasp in horror but they won’t do anything to definitely stop your ridiculous policies.

Sharron Angle for Senate, because dehumanization is a political win!

This message is brought to you by my indignation, PSTD, and lemonade! It is paid for my the tears of women and children being raped by their fathers everywhere.

The Difference Between Politically Correct and Respect

I am contemplating my internalized racist self right now. You see, I feel shame for I did not know that Juneteenth was anything at all. Not only is this a holiday that should be NATIONAL, HUGE, and marked with celebration…. but yesterday there was whitewashing. I choose this term deliberately. In the fight between the racists and the victims of the racism I noted the same erasures and when an apology was made I was left to think… what is it that is different about being PC and actually respecting people and why is the latter so hard to find?

People make fun of being politically correct all the time. I have been called a member of the PC police because I will not let people discriminate against me. When I think of people being politically correct the image in my mind is of a white guy being snide about someone’s otherness. Other being of course not white or male. Usually he is complaining that he is not allowed to be racist, ableist, etc. Then he complains further that the target of his isms doesn’t have a sense of humor for being hurt, offended, or angry.

Politically correct is another way of saying that you are too good to respect humans. It makes it acceptable again for you to be racist if you say you are just not into being politically correct. It means you can make it about the other thems, whichever political party you do not agree with. Politically Correct means absolutely nothing in this world because if you are treating people like they are people out of not wanting to stick your foot in your mouth you are an Ist.

Yes, people who aim to actually respect the human beings around them still screw up from time to time. Some more than others. I am hardly free of that feeling like I swallowed a basket of live snakes, that moment when I know I screwed up and didn’t just step on someone’s toes but took part in Isms. I sometimes panic, sometimes I apologize, and sometimes I say nothing because I am afraid of the reply. The latter is something I try to extinguish but it is there. The urge to make it all better ignores the rights, feelings, and perceptions of people that your (or my) privilege victimises.

Sorry also doesn’t cut the pain down, it may prevent you from doing this again but in reality I have had many people who “don’t subscribe to the PC thing” or only are being nice because they fear concequences do more harm with an apology. Apologizing can even be used as a way to make it okay for you to do the same old behaviors over and over again.

So, are you Politically Correct?

For more information on Juneteenth please visit Womanist Musings at this link here.

Calling all Politicians

Sometimes you have to pick up the phone and call people. I personally hate telephones. I barely can hear the people on the other end, there is this whine, and not being able to see their faces makes me nervous. What if I cannot hear them? I hate the constant what what whating. It makes me feel inept.

My Person found me a speaker phone, as our cheap little workable phone doesn’t have one, and I was not answer any calls. I just shut down the communications line and went lalalala when the phone rang. I would of course call back if someone left a voice mail, eventually. Some people are important enough to endure the evil phone for. Myself included.

This morning I decided to call my Senators and Congressman to find out what their opinions on Non dog Service animals are. I also shared my need for my cat. This is in response to Obama giving more time before the vote being cast on the DOJ’s pending ADA regulations that would ban the use of any species other than dogs as service animals. The exact regulation in question is “Title III Regulation 28 CFR Part 36: Nondiscrimination on the Basis of Disability by Public Accommodations and in Commercial Facilities.

This is the very regulation that lead to a comments threat and began my Blogging. The first call was the hardest. I dialed the long distance number to Washington, waited for the phone to ring. Instead of a ring a voice came out, “Martin Heinreich’s office.” I froze, then Toastmaster’s instinct took over. After explaining my call I was given a number that would get me faster results. Calling that, I had a conversation with a young man, who is likely older than I am, and educated him on why this law is discriminatory. He became excited, and impassioned. He told me he will fight for me and others with nondog service animals. I found this video at anotherĀ  blog. The big event showing her stupidity is at 8:40. At that point you are likely to lose any respect you had for this woman.

I do admit some regulation needs to be made with in the service animal laws to protect service animal users from the Fakers such as Rosie O’Donnell destroying the little respect we service animal users get. I am lucky that most people when protesting my use of a service animal hesitate on the grounds of never seeing a cat who is well trained or can handle the duties and tasks given, but, mine is almost always on her best behavior.

All service animals have bad days. Usually Sprite gets one day off a week. Her first day out after her month of serious illness was a hard day, but, she behaved admirably. Indeed, when I started my phone calls both she and Mr.Shakespurr came and listened. Sprite, upon hearing one of the aides to the second senator protest her existence tried to hang up the phone. I barely caught her paw. I explained her, in terms they could understand. “I can’t bend or walk. I use a wheelchair. She can be an extra long arm for me, or if I drop something, I do not have to wait for someone else to get it. She returned my life and independence to me.” I think the last sentence had the biggest impact.

Six phone calls for three politicians later and I feel good. I am going to help them understand that not all dogs make good service animals and some people need alternatives. I used the phrases, “It is discrimination to vote for this bill, what about those of us with serious allergies to dogs? Should we be further handicapped by this?” Most of the workers held passion. They reflected my own zeal and none of them treated me as if I was not important.

I also called the Mayor’s office and for once found someone who was intelligent and understanding about my call. He made a promise last year to train the local police on how to handle an ADA disturbance. I am often reported to the police as if my rights are a crime, and am tired of their enforcing the negative behavior. I am no criminal, I just want to buy groceries and live a normal life. I am now waiting on the return call, there is an assigned person, responsible for this. This is progress.

The added joy, a rarity with any form of politics and telephones, either alone or together, is the joy of telling someone. “Hang on, I am talking with my Senator.” It isn’t getting to say that which causes the joy, it is the discussion that follows after the call about why I am calling a politician. Why is it important to advocate for my rights? To make my voice heard? Because, if I do not speak up, no one else will speak for me.

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