I’ve been getting calls for that other person on my number since day 1. Now HER creditors are calling and refuse to believe I don’t even know her. I am tired of answering the phone and a COMPUTER tells me I need to sit on hold to make this stop. It’s not efficient. I will let you waste your resources calling. I may even prank you sometimes by leaving the phone on, then once your representative answers saying “The person you are trying to reach has better things to do than speak to a computer, this is an automated message. Go (censored) yourselves and waste some company time instead of calling again. Have a nice day!” I do this in a voice that works for automated machines.
I really should link to my voice acting stuff soon, though I am in a bit of a bind. My jaw really hurts since it popped out and keeps popping out. The pinching of soft tissues is making it hard to talk much less to alter my voice significantly. This worries me. I don’t want to lose my acting roles, I don’t want to be recast. The more I talk the worse it is. I can’t get to a doctor much less a specialist because I am sitting here waiting on a chair. It’s been a month and a half since my wheels went down for good, and it feels like a year.
I am trying to not waste away but my lack of freedom and the sensation of being imprisoned in my own home is getting to me. Sprite may be enjoying this but, how can I? I can barely sleep because I have nothing to do. I finally gave in and have spent my extra time playing video games, but that is mind numbing and my brain gets overloaded and I lose function. These calls are also painful, the bad music, the squeaky voices. I don’t understand why they don’t believe me either.
How do you disprove you are someone when they ask questions the person would know, and if you don’t know they accuse you of lying? Because it is a creditor I am unable to take any actions I know of, and I am not able to find any information. I feel on that edge. Maybe it would be insanity if I didn’t have a ton of causes but I find myself doing things I learned to hide when I was younger. The rocking is back, the hand twisting. I never flapped, because flapping meant dislocations. I twisted myself into a ball however and would fiddle with my hands, tying my hands together with my noodley fingers. Over and over again. I have to stay aware of where my hands are at all times.
On a better note, the change in diet back to meat and cheese heavy has really changed some things in my body. When I can eat (the jaw) my pain meds work better. I no longer feel I need an increase OR an extra pill. The medicine works within ten minutes not one to two hours if at all, and the pain diminishes for a longer period. I am no longer scrounging through my day trying to escape pain. I am also less agitated at the start of the day. It takes the pent up feeling first now. I am no longer looking like death warmed over, my face has color and I feel physically good. I also am less suicidal.
The suicidal issue surprises me but it shouldn’t. My body was too hungry. Still, I do want to give up my phone and hide from the world right now, I just want to go out. I don’t care what I do I just need out!