No More William

Below is a vent. William is going to find a new home before I sleep tonight. There is no option for him. He hurt me, dislocating several ribs. He then clawed up my feet when I was preparing to go shower and ruined a $200 dollar suit jacket. I cannot ever replace said item. He also attempted to ruin my formal gown, but the suit jacket saved that. So, I am calling everyone I know, anyone without small children want a  cat? He is guilty of also triggering my PTSD constantly. I found myself reacting to him as I would a human abuser, and that means he has no place here.

Screaming rage ensued this morning in a small apartment located somewhere on this planet. It appears that the culprit, William Shakespurr was sentenced to re-homing or else as a result of his nearly killing his owner. The cat is a very large, very heavy mixed breed with a questionable history. Although William did not intend to cause his human harm, he dislocated two of her ribs and destroyed a great deal of her irreplaceable items. William was given a warning a few months ago and was put on probation pending finding him “the right home.”

a cute black and white cat in a small coat laying on a keyboard.

William Shakespurr

It appears that William, as seen in the photo above, often uses his soft cat fur and a gentle purr in order to remind the people in his life that he is more than a destructive little monster, as his current human put it. When asked why she wanted him gone Kat Fury had this to say, “If he doesn’t go, I will. If I keep him, I will be hurt again, and again.” It appears that William has begun to hurt her often enough that he has prevented her from bathing for fear of passing out more than once this week as well.

When William was asked what he thought of this he replied coolly, “Meow, mrow mew mew mew.” He then nuzzled at any nearby hands before he was locked in the holding cell. His holding cell is of course rather large, as it is rare that such a creature needs to be confined. Until his sentence can be carried out William Shakespurr will not be a threat to society any longer.

Sprite, his long time roommate seemed rather pleased with the arrangement, curling up with her human and taking a nap that included snoring and kitty drool. More on this breaking news story as it happens!



  1. You are a great writer. I enjoyed that. Thanks. — WB

  2. I am glad you enjoyed that. I needed to vent about the situation in a way that let me regain my clarity of thought. I may write a sequel as the cat in question is now about to be released to a new home.

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