Forever Home

There was horror today, a horror I had not expected. I had entered a cycle of pain with my cat William. Not mine, he found a home. William has hurt me, then earned my forgiveness by being cute and gentle. Then he has hurt me. The hurting was rare at first then faster and faster. The more he hurts me the less I can play with him. The less I can play the more he hurts me. Today he nearly hospitalized me, and I could not wait any longer. At the time of this writing William just met his new owner, and he leaves us tomorrow morning.

I was terrified of him today, all it took was him jumping on me at all and there it was, the blinding pain. I did manage to shower but because of his damage to my skin, the bruises and all of the other places he has left his mark are more plentiful than the clear skin/my normal skin. There are a few places that got infected from my almost shower days before. I took a huge risk in the shower but I had to choose the pain and potential fainting in the shower for my mental health. After a certain point on the dirty scale, I have to fight to do anything constructive.

I excused his behavior because a lot of it is normal just amplified in size. I ignored the pain this caused me. When his being out of a locked room sends me into a flashback, there is a problem. It is not his fault, he just was in the wrong home. Then there was the challenge of finding him a home. I did not want him to be abused, I wanted him to be safe. His challenges also came into play. Then, there was a sudden stigma.

I have been stigmatized in a lot of ways, and thankfully not everyone did this but a few people chose to mock me instead of help me and it took a toll. I am emotionally exhausted and my entire left side is still burning from his crushing weight. Even thinking about it sends me into a state that feels like a prelude to a flashback. I am no wilting flower, but, the constant pain from abusers and then his version of love has left a mark.

William is the antithesis to the desirable cat. Most people want a small cat, dainty, young and of course playful. William is playful, powerfully built. He is a master predator without the ability to hold back. He is not good with children, other cats, dogs, and has to be indoors when he is the size of a rather small to medium dog. He is beautiful. Oh, I always find him beautiful. His golden tiger eyes peering out at the world hunting for a toy. He is sleek. Yet, he is too old for the shelters to truly home (so they say) and his disability plays a factor.

I had given up. I was crying. Then Barry my Landlord came over, he had heard from all the neighbors in our community/neighborhood that I was trying to find him a home right now or bust. He has a friend who has been looking for a special cat. She wants a cat that is big, not tiny and graceful but big. She wants a cat that plays for HOURS on end. She wants a cat that is already fixed, microchipped but couldn’t care if he has shots yet, she can do that. So he mentioned William. She works right around the corner.

William likes to go out on the scooter. He has never been outside after dark with me before, but we went and we met L. She looked at him, asked all the right questions. She asked about his favorite type of toy, how much he plays. I mentioned his special needs, and she smiled. “He’s absolutely perfect.” I almost cried. Funny thing is, while I was waiting for her to have a minute to come meet him, another couple asked about him, and they were willing to take him as well. The man was proud to state he has learned to function despite his own Traumatic Brain Injury. William had a choice of homes. The couple decided that since he fears dogs it would be best to let him go to L. My fear that no one would want him, as if I do not want him then who could? That was unfounded.

I have called everyone who was trying to find him a home, I have updated the facebook and still, I want to make sure everyone who was hoping, praying, and searching with me for his home knows, William has a forever home. Not only will he never be too big for this woman, she was excited he is not done growing yet, but she also looks forward to his pouncing her feet. She LIKES that. To me this is strange, but it is just what he needs.


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