I was going to write about caregivers and privilege. I probably will since I actually have more class privilege than my caregiver, and this is creating an interesting (and positive) dynamic. Now that you are enticed for future writing, I want to just share something small. We all know my wheelchair is being difficult. My readers (that’d be you!) helped pay for a repair or I would be starved out already and have given up on being independent. It’s hard to be independent when you can’t pee when YOU want darn it! The chair is broken again, and has been deemed unrepairable. The anticipation of being told yes, I can be evaluated for a new powerchair (not a promise but at least it is a start) has left me looking at some of my freetime, activities I had to give up because of disability.

I never stopped reading the emails from the listserv, but because of a confluence of events my hopes are high. Not so high that disappointment will crush me but high enough that I made it known I am attempting a return. In reply, the question was asked, can I use a manual chair and if so there was one for me to take. I feel honored. I have been silent for two years with this group. My hopes are a bit higher now. Part of why I can maybe play more is the location of events is moving with in a distance that I feel comfortable trying to bus to and from. With a proper chair, there is the option of being able to ride the bus.

Freedom is just out of reach, and it is a tantalizing torment!

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