Remebering Julia

My silence yesterday was due to being out of the house paying bills, doing a little shopping at the best Thrift Store I have ever seen, and driving out to another city so that I could attend the memorial service for a friend who recently passed. Julie was special. I remember her in sweetness, I remember her liveliness.

I also will never forget the lessons she taught me in surviving pain. A lot of what i figured out about ability was the attempt to mimic her behavior. You see she had Lupus, there were probably other things that ailed her but her body was weak like mine. She was in pain. She was also always smiling, ever sweet, and even when she was being tread upon had something positive to do or say.

What would Julie Do right now? My first few times trying even to get a diagnosis I asked that. How would she keep calm? I am not sure what her exact method was but she became a teacher, even as time took us and separated us. I came back into the life of her husband but did not have the opportunity to visit her before her passing. I think in some ways this is a very good thing. I will always remember her laughing, I will always be able to see her spirit in my heart. I will always regret not seeing her one last time. Even if I had seen her recently, I would have that regret.

I also credit Julie and her husband with teaching me that love can exist. You see, this pair works like me and my Person do. Until meeting them I had not met a happy couple. Every married couple I knew of was either enroute to divorce, unhappy, holding obvious abuse, or they were incompatible and never saw one another. Julie and her husband always were together. There was an intimacy about seeing them talk, there was a closeness that is very difficult to describe but was mind blowing to me.

My teenage self wanted that. I also told myself it was impossible. I modelled some of what I wanted out of love on what they had. Respect, Love, Trust, Faith, and an openeness to all friendships. These made up their life together, and it is what both individuals had. I will miss Julie. I also will support her husband, he is my friend and anything he needs that is in my power I will do. Not just out of respect for him but out of respect for her.

I cried at her memorial. I learned too, that she and I have a favorite song that matches. It doesn’t just match, but, it embodies the spirit of advocacy, it embodies living, and it embodies what Julie was like.

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I’ll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

Julie reached that star. She reached the next unreachable star, and the next. Thank you for changing my life, for showing me a path to live on, and for being such a brilliant woman. I do not cry for many, but, I am honored to cry for Julie.

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2 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, Katyrena. It seems like some of the best people always pass away first. Sometimes I think they are just too good for us here, that they’ve reached a state of being that people like you and I can only understand as “death” but which is actually more like attaining Nirvana. I hope you have a loving shoulder there that you can cry on if you need to.

  2. I am okay. Julia left too many good memories to let sorrow overpower the lives that continue. she would want us to celebrate her instead of mourn her and therefore, that is what I will do. I also have a lot of support, My person put on a TIE for her memorial and he doesn’t get the point of dressing up most of the time.

    The shortness of those lives is felt only because they are greatness. Without greatness then, no one feels the shortness of the life. All lives are immeasurably short. Look at the history of the world, we are specks of dust in time.


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