Gently Doth She Wake

I slept hard lastnight, I was exhausted after my speech partly because I stood for about five seconds. Not long for many but my legs have been getting worse and worse lately. When I woke up I discovered two things. William had finally learned how to wake me without hurting me, he gently pawed at my stomach until I groaned at him, and, my giant pillow had somehow gone from under my head up onto my legs and my blanket was gone. Sprite was curled up atop it like the queen of the castle, staring at me, after I put my glasses on, with a look of pure contentment.

The speech went well, I will polish it, give it again, and see if any of the speech resembles what came before. I doubt it will, though the informational content will be the same. I learned something about myself last night, I learned I still have what it takes to give a very good speech. Until last night I had been doubting it, perhaps it was just luck that had my words coming out smoothly before? I wasn’t sure. I am nervous when giving speeches again, something I have not experienced for a very long time.

I felt like myself giving a speech, I could feel the words, I could feel the timing, and I could feel the pacing. Each gesture was right, and fluid. I had considered standing before, but wasn’t sure if I could until the moment when Sprite moved to help me balance. It felt good. I felt young, not that I am old by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems a bit of myself was sleeping, until then. It woke slowly, but I forgot the fear of the chair, I forgot to worry about how it might look to the outside world, I forgot to fear prejudice.

Now if I can just bottle up that sensation, I would give it away for free to every person with disability, every woman, every child, and every person who has dealt with abuse. I do hope that every person finds it in them selves, it is important to wake up, and see that no matter what you are a person above all, and that the world is full of those who can see that.

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1 Comment

  1. Congratulations on participating in Toastmasters despite all your health problems. If you’re in a good club (and most are…) it can be a wonderful empowering experience. Keep it up. And good luck.


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